I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

my sem break started on 17th..i was too lazy to update my blog til now..

dunno why but i dun have any mood at all during dis sem break..

dun feel like chatting, dun feel like replying msgs n dun feel like socializing..

dis few days i just spent my time playing pc games..

i din open my msn messenger since exam time..

seems like i’ve crept back into my cocoon for dis period of time..

my mood hv been like dis since dat problem arise..

my sister’s words made me realise dat i was wrong about something n i’m trying to find a solution to dat problem..

i’m reluctant to face dis problem n maybe dat’s why my mood is like dis..

i planned to meet with my close frens last saturday..

however, de plan was postponed cos one of them have exam..

in May, 2 of them will have exam..

looks like i could only meet them in mid of June..

a meeting of just 5 person hv to be postponed to 2 months later..

wat’s more wit a class gathering when some of them are not even in kl..

i’m joining my sister n her frens for a Sarawak trip dis saturday morning..

it’s a five days n four nights trip..maybe i can relax n clear my mind in dis trip..

next sem is my last sem for my foundation year..

it might be a good start..i’ve been lazing around last sem..

i shld focus more on my studies n stop thinking bout other stuff..

it’s also my sister’s last sem for her degree..

she’ll start working soon..maybe i shld spend more time wit her in coll next sem..

my mood is down again..i’ll stop here..couldn’t think of anything else to type..

be back to update again if i could think of anything else or after my Sarawak trip..

my sister’s fren gave her 2 tickets to Jogoya..

so, after arranging our schedules, we finally picked a day to go there..

it was de first time we went there..if not for de tickets, we would not go there..

spending more than RM100 per person for just a dinner is not worth it..

overall, de food is okay but i would rather go to Saisaki..

(believe me, de sharksfin soup is terrible..dun take it..)

at Jogoya, they allow only small proportions of food everytime we requested a certain type of food..

we have to wait for quite some time before they would sent de food to us..

by waiting like dat, we became full quickly even though we did not eat a lot..

de services are quite bad..de waitresses have a moody n grumpy look..

one of them even mumbled something under her breath which sounds like scolding my sister when she collected a plate from my table..

de best part is only de drinks..there were 6 types of wine..my sis n i tried red wine, Gimlet, Wonderful & AK47..

(normal red wine)

(Gimlet..2nd best)

(Wonderful..best one!!)

(AK47, dun like de taste, so we mixed it wit red wine..)

(my dad, my sis n i drank Wonderful while my mum preferred coffee instead..lol)

in total, both of us drank 14 glasses..dat means we drank 7 glasses each..

after eating, as usual, me n my sis started camwhoring..

i was bored wit de smiling face, so i pretended to be a ghost behind my sister..

(it’s better when it’s dark..)

(my sister’s failed attempt at rolling her eyes..lol)

(succeeded!!)

after dat, we got a scolding from my mum cos it was de chinese festival “Ching Ming” de next day..hahaha xD

I just started eating my lunch when my dad began to lecture me…

Was forced to stop eating in order to respect him…

Throughout de whole lecture, I was just wondering when he’s gonna stop so dat i can continue my lunch…darn hungry at dat time…

At first, he pointed out 2 of my mistakes…I felt sorry for my mistakes..

But then, he started talking about de family drama dat happened a month ago..

Talking about his scar, de pushings, screamings on dat day n blah..blah..blah..

He said he felt hurt…In my mind, I replied it was all ur own fault…

He also says throughout de whole drama, I was just standing by de side cos i was blur n dunno wat’s happening…

The truth is I screamed & shouted too…But it’s just dat his voice is too freaking loud dat my voice can’t be heard at all..

I also helped in pushing(although my strength doesn’t help much) but i guess he’s too angry at dat time to notice where n wat i’m doing at dat time..

He says dat both sides are at fault…

He says he needs to explain to me wat’s happening so dat i know who’s right or wrong..

Haih..why does he have to remind me of dis stupid drama again…

I already forgot bout it but he just kept reminding me…

Does he still thinks dat i’m 10 year old??

Does he still think dat i couldn’t figure out things by myself??

Does he still thinks dat i’ll listen to him??

Doesn’t he realise dat de more he forces me, de more i’ll rebel??

Doesn’t he realise dat there’s always a gap between me n dis family n it’s getting wider bcos of him??

Doesn’t he realise dat i hate him for loving me more than sis??

Doesn’t he realise he’s de one dat causes mum to left me out??

Doesn’t he realise dat i’m not getting enuf mother love bcos of him??

Doesn’t he realise dat i never tell them my true feelings??

Doesn’t he realise there’s a thick wall around me??

Doesn’t he realise i need my own privacy??

Doesn’t he realise it’s a crime to read someone’s private blog??

Haih…i need to listen to music to clear my mind rite now..gonna take driving lessons after dis..i dun wanna crash n die so young..lol

I nearly forgot one thing….

A few weeks ago, my parents quarrelled again…

As usual, a lot of crying, shouting & screaming…But dis time it’s more serious…

It’s just over a stupid small stuff but my dad scolded us like the world’s gonna end soon…

As I flashbacked, I think the scene is more interesting n enjoyable than those korean dramas…lol

Cut to the chase, my mum, my sis & I din talk to my dad for several days…

After a few days, my mum discussed with him n suggest to just forgot everything dat happened…

So, he talked to my mum again but din talk to my sis n I…

A few days ago, my sis msg him to apologise on behalf of both of us…

He still doesn’t talk to both of us now but he told my mum my sis has done
her part but I haven’t apologise yet, so he wun forgive me…

My mum advice me to apologise a few days after dis…

I was like “WTF?”

Why shld I apologise when i did nothing wrong??

Furthermore, my sis have apologised on my behalf…

I dun wanna apologise…I dun even wan to talk to him now…

But he’s my dad…wat can i do???

I wanted to say i dun wanna give a damn about dis father but i can’t…

I’ll hurt my mum if i do dat…

Wat sin have i done in de past to deserve dis father???

He always think he contributes n sacrifice a lot for dis family…

He always think he’s de smartest n everything he says is correct…

He lose his temper almost everyday…

He always scold us for even de tiniest things…

He controls everything in our life…Our frens, wat path we shld take, wat
we shld think n even wat music we shld listen to…We are like robots
to him…

Maybe i shld just give him my life n let him lead it…

It seems like he PMS everyday!!!

I’m F*king frustrated with him!!!

I’m F*king frustrated with my life!!!

*pardon my language…i’m very angry n frustrated rite now…

Congratulations Anwar Ibrahim for winning in de elections for Permatang Pauh…keke

Next, I’ll like to express my hatred in Malaysia’s weather rite now…
It was damn hot two weeks ago…Then, it started raining continuosly
everyday for more than 3 hours…(makes me couldn’t online for a few
hours…haih)

Moving on with my life…I was down with fever a few days ago bcos of de stupid weather…Now, still coughing a bit…Hope dat it wun drag til i enter college…

Moving on to college, I’ve registered in Foundation of Arts in UCSI on last thursday…I’m gonna take de same course n go to de same college with my sis…

So, dat means we can have break together & go to pasar malam after college together…But dat also means dat I have to share de parking ticket money with her if my dad allowed her to drive de car to college…

Then,I found out dat I have more than one fren studying in UCSI other than
Yimlye, my class monitor during Form 4 & Form 5…

Edward,my ex tuition fren from Stephanie teacher is also studying in UCSI…He’s
taking Foundation in Science..So,maybe I wun see him a lot…
I wonder if he’ll buy me lunch if i saw him…kekeke

He also told me dat Ivy Hew(also my ex tuition fren) is studying in UCSI too…
I’ve no idea who is Ivy Hew until i asked Meisoon…
If we are talking about de same person, i think i can still remember her a bit…
De percentage of me recognising her is quite low since i din see her for ages now…I wonder if she still remembers me…

Next,I met Jooying (my ex tuition fren from de same tuition centre & de
tuition teacher’s niece) at de Public Bank near my mum’s shop when i
accompanied my mum there…

She told me she’s studying A-Levels in KTAR rite now…
I forgot to ask for her contact number…keke

Okay, back to my college life…Haih, I’m gonna start college next tuesday…
I’m supposed to go for de orientation on dis Thursday & Friday….
But then, my sister n most of her frens advice me not to go cos i’ll be wasting my time at there…They said it’s not important n they’ll just talk useless stuff at there…So, I made up my mind to ponteng de orientation… (de king of truant is back!!! hahaha)

Before entering college, I’m gonna enjoy my life while i still have time…
My schedule’s full for de last week before entering college…

I just followed my sister n her high school frens to play futsal on last saturday…I was surprised at myself dat i’m gonna join them since i’m pretty much scared of balls back in high school…Whenever we played balls, de ball
will definitely hit my head no matter where i stood even if i squated
down n hid behind my fren…

There were nine of us(all gurls) n none of us have played before…
It’s a bit embarassing since we shouted n screamed more than we kicked de
ball throughout de whole game…But it’s quite enjoyable since there’s
no rules…

Then, i followed my sister n her college frens go ice-skating at Sunway Pyramid on Monday…One of her frens taught my sis  how to skate backwards…
I tried to learn too but failed miserably…(I’m such a slow learner…haih)

Next, we went for bowling after dinner…
My sister’s frens tried to teach me how to play but again, i failed miserably…
My score was de worst among all of us…lol
The funny thing is I striked once but with de wrong method…
I squated down, put de bowling ball in front of me n pushed with both hands…
Miraculously, i striked!!! Everyone clapped but i felt happy n embarassed at de same time…

On Tuesday, i went to KFC with Meisoon n Biu Jie…
Meisoon just finished her exams, so she wan to go out yumcha n relax a bit…
We talked about a lot of stuff n chatted for a few hours…

Meisoon told us she was bullied by a guy named Michael…
Biu Jie n I teased her by saying dat maybe dis Michael guy likes her…
Something about enemies become lovers stuff…
(sorry, we watched too much movies…lol)
But then, Meisoon told us dat de guy already have a gf n he loves his gf a lot…
So, dis Michael dude is more like a brother figure to Meisoon…

Then, we talked about guy stuff…I asked them about our frens’ love life…
Yeah, I admit I’m a nosy person…kekeke
Since my life is so dull n I noe I’m not goin to experience de same stuff, I
always love to hear about my frens’ love life n their guy
issues…hahaha

On Wednesday, i spent my time at home…Rearrange all de stuff on de cupboards to prepare to put my college stuff…

On Thursday, I’m gonna ponteng de orientation n go to TS with my sis….
Gonna spend some time alone with my sister…I hope we dun end up quarrelling..haha

On Friday, I’m gonna ponteng my orientation again n follow my sister n her
college frens on a one-day trip to Malacca…gonna eat a lot n gain
weight again…

On Sunday, I’m gonna go to Mid Valley for class gathering…I miss my classmates a lot…I hope most of them can make it…

Raining rite now…better switch off my pc…
I just realised dat i reali sucks at sports n I’m a very slow learner…haih

Okay, now, my personal opinion on de MTV Asia Awards 2008…

Jared Leto looks cool…(my sis kept saying he looks like Jim Carrey..lol)
Karen Mok is so lucky to be co-hosting MAA with him…

Pussycat Dolls performed "Buttons" & "When I grow up"…
All of them wore tight pants..less provocative in order to avoid controversy again..

Leona Lewis performance is great…She’s de best singer among all of them…
Eventhough de sound system is not good, her voice can be heard even when her microphone is far away from her lips…

OneRepublic performed "Apologise" and "Stop & Stare"…
My sis kept saying he looks cute…
He’s a bit chubby n have puppy eyes which made us wanna pinch his cheeks…

To show their appreciation to the host country Malaysia, The Click Five
worked with traditional Malay Kompang (Malay drums) players to give a
unique twist to their medley of hits "Empty" and "Jenny."
(this reminds me of Dikir Barat during high school..)

Last but not least, I still can’t believe Super Junior won de Favourite Artiste Korea!!!

I can’t believe Big Bang lose to them!!!

Anyway, it’s actually quite expected since they attended de awards show…

As a lot of ppl have said, those who came will definitely bag an award home…

Furthermore, Super Junior have tonnes of fans everywhere…

My sister says that she’ll go to sleep when Super Junior starts performing…

But then she ended up watching it with me since she’s afraid to sleep alone cos she just watched a horror movie earlier…

I thought that maybe we should give Super Junior a chance since ELFs
have claimed that Super Junior have improved a lot & they started
singing live…

However, I was totally disappointed after watching their performance…

They performed two songs…de first song was slow & it bored de hell outta me…

I thought Super Junior have 13 members but de first song was only sang
by 6 of them…I wonder why…Maybe de others can’t sing or dis is just
a subgroup of them??

The funny thing is throughout de whole song, they din move at all, not even an inch…They stood there frozen to the ground…

I asked my sis, "Why aren’t they moving? Can’t they just sway a little
or walk a few steps ahead?" My sis replied, "Oh, maybe if they move,
they’ll lose their breath & couldn’t sing anymore….."

While they were singing de first song, i noticed they were holding a
mic each n there were a small mic(dunno wat it’s call) hanging by their
ear…

I told my sis dat maybe de second song will be a fast song with dance steps…

I also told her to be prepared to see them lip-syncing AGAIN…

They finished de first song n de other members pop up onstage…

My words were true…It was a fast song which requires dance steps…

And they did lip-sync too…How predictable…

And it seems like they din put much effort into de performance…

I asked a few questions,"How many years since they have debuted n they
are still lip-syncing??" "It’s been so long since they debuted n i
still couldn’t recognise all of them…" "Why din they perform de
second song first to live up de atmosphere??"

My sis answered, "Maybe they’ll be too out of breath to perform the
next song after dancing for de fast song…" "Whoa, so, each of them
sang only one line in a 3-4 minute song??" "Omagawd! Wat’s dat? The
Sakai dance??"

We laughed throughout de whole performance n kept saying de 13 clowns/monkeys..

Wait..there’s not even 13 of them…some of them aren’t even there…

Why have a group with 13 members when there’s always a few missing???

We kept saying, "They should have invited Big Bang instead…Big Bang
will definitely live up de atmosphere with their catchy n fast songs…"

During Super Junior’s performance, we noticed that there was a guy
standing there looking blur while de fangirls screamed their lungs
out…

My sis says dat maybe he dunno who de hell is Super Junior…

We pitied watching him looking so blur n nearly goin deaf from all de fangirls screaming..lol

I’m not trying to bash Super Junior just because Big Bang lose to them…

In my heart, Big Bang already won..so, it doesn’t matter although i would be much happier if i saw Big Bang performing…kekeke

It’s just that Super Junior’s performance was TOTALLY disappointing…

The disappointing Super Junior…

My beloved Big Bang…

I watched MTV Asia Awards 2008 in Genting Highlands live last night!!!

Okay,okay,just kidding..i watched de live show on tv last night…

The show starts at 11pm n end at 1.30am…
My sis stayed up late to accompany me to watch it since she dun dare to sleep alone cos she just watched a horror movie earlier…

Jointly hosted by Jared Leto, front man of 30 Seconds to Mars, and
Award-winning actress and singer Karen Mok, the awards show gives
recognition to artists for their achievements in the music industry and
at the same time provides the platform for music collaborations in the
region.

Jared Leto looking cool(my sis says he looks like Jim Carrey..lol)
Karen Mok won de Inspiration Award while Jared Leto bag home de Video Star Award for his group, 30 Seconds to Mars…

The night started off with an opening dance by JabbaWockeeZ, winners of TV show America’s Best Dance Crew.

Their performance was good, but not as great as their past performances that i’ve seen previously on youtube…

Pussycat Dolls came up next to perform "Buttons" & "When I Grow Up"…They wore less provocative attire since they came under fire last year from Muslim authorities here for
their raunchy performances and sexy attire, which earned concert
promoters a 10,000 ringgit (2,700-dollar) fine.

The 1st & 2nd pic is wat they usually wore..The 3rd & 4th is wat they wore last nite..

Favourite Artiste China: Li Yu Chun

Favourite Artiste Philippines: Chicosci

Favourite Artiste Hong Kong: Leo Ku

Favourite Artiste Singapore: Stefanie Sun Yan Zi

Favourite Artiste Indonesia: Yovie&Nuno

Favourite Artiste Taiwan: Alan Luo Zhi Xiang

Favourite Artiste Korea: Super Junior

Favourite Artiste Thailand: TOR Saksit

Favourite Artiste Malaysia: Nicholas Teo

EDC Style Award: Panic At The Disco

To show their appreciation to the host country Malaysia, The Click Five
worked with traditional Malay Kompang (Malay drums) players to give a
unique twist to their medley of hits "Empty" and "Jenny". They won de Knockout Award.

OneRepublic roused the crowd with "Stop and Stare" and "Apologize" -
which also landed them the Best Hook-up Award for their collaboration
with Timbaland.

Britain’s latest sensation Leona Lewis moved the audience with a stirring performance of "Bleeding Love" and "Better in Time". She won the Breakthrough Artist Award.

Favourite International Artist of Asia - Linkin Park
The Innovation Award - Radiohead
Bring Da House Down - Muse - Muse Asia Tour (Jan 2007)

Asian music took centre-stage when the Project E.A.R (East Asian
Revolution) gave their very first performance as a group at the MTV
Asia Awards. Their debut consisted of a medley of songs performed in
five different languages from the region (Bahasa Indonesia, Bahasa
Melayu, English, Tagalog and Thai), fusing various genres of music.
Made up of members from Ahli Fiqir (Singapore), Pop Shuvit (Malaysia),
Saint Loco (Indonesia), Slapshock (Philippines), Silksounds (Thailand)
and Thaitanium (Thailand), the super group broke down all geographical
boundaries, providing audiences with the best sounds of Asia.

G-Dragon - Look Only At Me Part. 2 

TRANSLATION:

I’m not trying to make sense here
I’m just trying to make things right
I’m not asking, but I’m telling you
Baby listen
Ah ah ah ah I’m sorry girl
All all all all it’s all my greed
Ah ah ah ah I’m sorry girl

Look Only At Me, Part 2

All men are all same but I am different, believe me girl
I am different from those other guys you met
I said with my whole heart that ‘I will only look at you’
There won’t be betrayal in front of love you gave me
Honestly I sometimes waver
But don’t worry it doesn’t go farther
I was just curious of being fluttered from dating for a long time, those small fights

I feel happy when you are next to me so I am not alone
But I feel unnerved and think the past was better sometimes
Although I feel sorry

Chorus:
Don’t ever cheat although I do, baby
Don’t forget about me although I do, lady
Sometimes, I don’t contact you and I drink
And if I met lips with another woman, look only at me

(I am sorry honey, but…)

I delay a date with you today
Once, twice, it became many times already, like a habit (Let’s meet for sure tomorrow)
‘I will do it next time’ ‘I will do better from now on’ but I lie at the last minute
But I can’t help it, I keep lying to you
I know it’s bad, I always feel anxious
No girl girl girl
Everything is my fault, swerved (broken) promises repeat (ah)

(I hope you won’t know about this)

I look for you when I feel lonely and inconvenient
I feel sorry, then it happens soon
You comfort me saying it’s okay to do it when I am foolish

(Repeat Chorus)

I know very well that I only think of myself (Honestly I don’t know well)
You wait for me at the same place everyday, but that’s all baby
I wish you will always have only me
That’s my wish, a man’s hope, honey don’t hate (hate on/cuss at) me
No No…

(Repeat Chorus)

translation credits to: jeska + gdluvzmc

Tae Yang - Look At Me Ft Big Bang (Part 1)

The first guy with the specs that appears with the girl is Gdragon aka my hubby,Ji Yong..

The second guy with the girl in the park is Seungri..

The third guy with the girl is Daesung..

The fourth guy with the killer eyes is TOP…

2) Wat???i din do anything wrong,why would de discipline teacher wanna see me???

         The school bell rung indicating school’s over. All our sleepy eyes grew wide-awake. The teacher hurriedly left the classroom. We quickly throw all our books n stuff into our bag. The environment became quite noisy as we were talking n shouting at de same time. Some of us were already prepared to run out of de school with full speed. Then, we heard someone knocking on our classroom’s door. It was one of de Cemerlang gurls. I looked at her for a split second n continued packing my stuff.

          "Mei Soon and Shuet Yee! Puan Salinah wants to see both of u. She’s in my class now." Puan Salinah is de fiercest discipline teacher and if she wants to see u, dat means u r in BIG trouble. I joked by pretending to be scared, "Why? Why she wants to see me? I’ve done nothing wrong except playing truant dozen of times." Everyone laughed n continue packing their stuff. Some of my frens tried to frighten me but i’m not scared. If she wants to see me alone, dat means i’m reali in a BIG trouble. Since she wants to meet both me n Mei Soon, i’m not worried at all. Mei Soon is well loved by all for excelling in academics n having great attitude.

         We stood in front of Puan Salinah by her desk in de empty classroom. The usually chaotic classroom seems to be a bit scary without even a tiny bit of noise. She looked at us and smiled. I felt a bit relieve since she’s in good mood. "Are u interested in being a prefect?" she asked. Both of us was blur n couldn’t came up with an answer. She continued again, "Both of u has been recommended by 7 teachers (i forgot de exact number dy but i remember it’s more than 5) to be de next prefect candidates. It’s quite a rare chance to be recommended by so many teachers. I hope both of u will consider about dis n give me de answer tomorrow." She continued by saying dat we will have to stay back to perform our duties, attend meetings n buy de prefect’s uniform if we become prefects.

          I was half-conscious by then (literally speaking). "Wat??? Me as a prefect??? You must be kidding. The gurl who always do last minute work bein a prefect? The gurl who always laughed n teased de prefects who did their duties in de canteen bein a prefect? The gurl who never listens or respect de prefects bein a prefect? Last but not least, de gurl who always PLAY TRUANT whenever she woke up late being a PREFECT??? I thought all de teachers hate me. Who would recommend me to be a prefect? Are they trying to teach me a lesson for all de deeds i’ve done? If u compared me with Mei Soon, she’s like de ANGEL while i’m like de DEVIL. It’s funny how we can become good frens even before dis whole thing happened.

         After two days, de three of us (including Suet Mun, my another good fren who was also recommended by de teachers), totally clueless, became probates for 4 months before officially became prefects. Maybe it’s bcos i was grateful to de teachers for recommending me or i like to be in control or i like de attention dat i get after i become a prefect which makes me grew to like being a prefect. I had always been a nobody at school compared to Mei Soon n Suet Mun. When i became a probate, de students n teachers began to take notice of me. Some of de juniors started to respect me while others were afraid of me. Dat’s de reason i put more effort into my duties. I’m proud to say dat i’ve never say even once dat i wan to give up after i become a probate. Being a prefect teaches me to become more discipline, bold and responsible (But i still play truants..kekeke). Maybe becoming a prefect is not a bad thing after all.

1) Second class…Does it really matter?

         On the first day of school in 2006, i was excited to meet my frens again. I was pretty sure i was going to enter the first class for Form 4 based on my results. Little did i know, i was going to receive a big surprise just in a few minutes time. The teacher started announcing the names of the students who gets to enter the first class. I was shocked when i found out my name was not in the name list. I thought my ears were playing tricks on me when i heard my name being called when the teacher read the second class students’ name. The next thing i know is tears started falling down my cheeks. A lot of the students were shocked as most students from the first class in the year before was placed in the second class and vice versa. My frens have accepted the fact after a while but i still couldn’t believe it. I have been in the first class since Standard Two. I felt my anger rising every time the teachers started comparing both classes. I felt that i deserve to be in the first class. In other words, i couldn’t let go of my ego. While i’m retelling this story rite now, i smiled n laughed at myself. I was being so immature and childish at that time.

         First or second class, does it really matter? The mature side of me was telling myself dat it was just a name n it’s already in de past. However, de immature side of me still couldn’t let it go. It’s not dat i’m unhappy in de second class. If i could choose again, i would still choose to enter de second class to be wit my frens. Dun misunderstood me,i luv my class very much. 4/5 Dynamicz(2006/07) was de best class i have ever been to. It’s just dat i can’t forget de unfair treatment we had to endure throughout de two years. If de teachers have treated us fairly, we would not have felt anger, frustration n misery. All de teachers claimed dat both class are de same. If both class are de same, why should we endure such unfairness? This so-called fairness has caused us a lot of our tears. But wat could we do? This world is unfair. We could do nothing but to bear with it.